Maybe I am not supposed to be here

This post is about one of the experiences i had that left me feeling like "maybe i should not be here" , "maybe only men do this".

After a long day of walking around Commerce Park, rejections and lots of "we are not hiring", carrying loads of brown envelopes with my CV and results, i came to the last company i had on my list.

I knocked and was called in, and this is how the conversation , with the fifty something years old receptionist went:

Receptionist: Dumela nnana, nka go thusa ka eng?

Me: Ke kopa go bona HR kana Managing Director?

Receptionist: Ke mabapi le eng?

Me: Ke kopa attachment?

Receptionist: Nnana ware o batla eng sentle sentle? Golo ha kana re bereka le diengineere.

At that point i thought, "would i come looking for a job in an engineering company if i were a nurse, teacher,, lawyer, social worker etc?" but that wasn't the point, she assumed either based on my gender or body size or whatever, that i am not supposed to be there, i did not qualify (in her books) to be an engineer.

Stereotypes and prejudices come in all forms, clearly she had been working for the company for many years, was i the first female she female person she came across looking for a job in engineering? I doubt it.

Me: OK, a nka bona HR or Director?

Receptionist: Director ke Rre ________, ga ayo mo officing tsatsijeno.

Me: Ke kopa go tlogela envelope o mo nneelele yone.

She ended up accepting my documents and all i could think was, "she probably gonna shred the whole thing once i shut the door behind me" but that did not happen. The following day i got a call from the Managing Director and he told me to come to work.

I reported to work only to find in the entire company, 7 male engineers, 1 male CAD technician , 1 male driver, 1 female accounts clerk, 1 female cleaning and tea lady, 1 female archives and filing officer and the 1 female receptionist. At that point again i thought "should i really be here?" Only men seem to be doing what i'm supposed to be doing and the women are basically "housekeeping". Over the six months at the company i did what i was supposed to do and was good at it. That answered my questions. YES, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE NDAKHONA, YES, THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD BE.

To all the girls feeling out of place in the engineering world, you do not have to "fit in" with the men around you, you do not have to dress like a man to be considered an engineer (regulated protective clothing for site visits and stuff) but girl, just wear your everyday clothes, no need for baggy pants and over-sided wind breakers. Because you are a woman, and you are supposed to be there.

#engineering #girls #STEM